Pushing and Pulling

I think my body is slowly trying to fall apart. Why do my kneecaps scream after the fourth mile? ...Sometimes its after the second mile...? Why does my left foot tingle sometimes when I exercise? Am I going to have a stroke?

These are just a few of the questions that go through my head while I train for the TIR. I'm about halfway through training and while all the old familiar aches and pains are back for the reunion, it's starting to make me weary of jogging. I'm not trying the Jeff Galloway method this time around, which probably would be the better bet, given my self-diagnosed tendinitis. Last time I tried it though, I misunderstood the training plan and developed a hybrid method that was halfway successful...Half-assed effort leads to half-assed results when it comes to running.

BUT, remove the knee pain and random physical annoyances (i.e. foot tingles), and I do enjoy jogging. If I get into a rhythm and focus (or even clear my head), it becomes liberating. I remind myself that not everyone can do what I do due (da do do do) to physical or mental constraints, and even where I'm at in the training plan now, I'm no where near where I was when I started. Training is a proven method to achieving a herculean feat with patience and method. But with that said, in my TIR training plan, I am also accounting for the days where I modify the distances set out for me. Usually it's because of my knees, sometimes its because of my busy schedule, and occasionally it's because I've reached my limit. My body is telling me that I should go no further. This is something that is beyond the knee pain. I thought it was just a lack of focus, but then I started paying closer attention. I acknowledge the probable fact that I could continue on and run those extra 10 minutes, but this is a rare time where I agree with my subconscious about how even though its a good idea to stick to the plan, I need to know when to not push.

Where do you strike a balance between pushing yourself and knowing when to stop? Aches and pains come and go. There are so many pulleys and levers in the human body; it's a complicated science, I'm realizing, to be the ultimate runner. Some people have it naturally, but as it has been true with almost everything else in my life, jogging/running does not come easy. If you push too much, you break something. The lever snaps and your IT Band is shot. You don't push enough and you never get prepared for that 300 ft incline.

Anyway, I've experienced over and under preparedness with the TIR with the last two years of running it. I just wish it didn't always feel like a gamble. I wonder if this year is a push too much or push too little.

Bon Appetitis

Funny how quickly I'd forgotten all side effects of training for a race (funny in a sadistic sort of way). Soreness, yes, that's always a given. I've combated that this time around through high protein intake and Epsom salt baths (more of a reward than a consequence). It's that other stuff that happens after many miles of running that I forgot about, but had initially remembered when I said I would NEVER run the TIR again. Is this what happens to new mothers, where after they have the baby, the pain of it all is fresh on their minds--Never again!--But after the baby leaves babyhood, they decide they want another one, forgetting the agonizing agony of it all? Is there a name for this kind of fun, because I think I have it.

Callouses. You know, I thought I had determined that the root cause of this was cotton socks in loose shoes. Apparently, when you attempt long runs in new shoes, the same applies, cotton or no cotton. I've been reading this book about a woman who goes on a walkabout for months. By the end of it, her bare feet were encased with a thick layer of dead, calloused skin, as if to suggest her body had made shoes for her feet as she adapted to the desert. I guess the wear and tear of breaking in new shoes, which started this week, will end up creating an "encasement" of my big toes.

Tendinitis. GINGIVITIS. Anything with an -itis at the end has got to be bad. I THINK this is what's going on with my knees. Like with past years, my knees will ache after a certain mileage is met. After about 10 minutes of a self-diagnosis exercise on Webmd.com, I've determined that I most likely have it. I've never been good to my knees, so I expect that they will die long before I do.

Appetite. Bon appetit. I am hungry, all the time. I knew I would have more of an appetite but good grief. I've been on a modified diet to try and steer away from harmful foods (hydrogenated oils, fried anything, high fructose blah blah, meat that had been mistreated in any way--dead or alive). I bought a scale for the first time ever, eager to watch my weight drop some, only to then be frightened of it because I weigh the same now as I have the past four years. **Disclaimer** I don't think I'm fat, but when you run five days a week, you tend to expect a shift in weight. My HEARTY appetite takes care of that. Nature's way of saying I will always be of average weight.

I could go on and on with the complaints, but those are the big ones. Could be worse, I guess.